Solitude
by Yaoimelody
Summary: [Mostly about Gene as a teenager, but mentions/inserts of his past here and there. I may do more of these headcanon backstories with requests to? Reviews/Feedback/Requests are begged for and much appreciated.] In which Gene wonders where it all went wrong in his life.


Gene awoke to a muffled scream. Again. His younger brother usually got night terrors on occasion, and he knew only he would come to the rescue. His parents couldn't have cared less if they tried. His father would get angry from the fact he had to get up early for work, and his mother was probably trying to get over the impending hangover that was forming in her mind by now.

Sliding from his bed, he threw on a night shirt that he had tossed off from the fact of the broken air conditioner, but wanted to appear friendly towards his sibling. He slowly plucked up his glasses and brought them to his face. Padding down the halfway, he knocked gently against the door and found it slightly open already. With a whimper as an answer, Gene slowly pushed on the door. He was met by the sight of his brother writhing weakly in his blankets. It was bad enough the kid wrapped himself up like a burrito anyways.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Gene felt softness towards the boy. There was some spark left to the ten-year-old body. His own was beaten from him by then, but maybe his father either was waiting or was being kind. It was uncanny to have to think about.

At last the child scooted out of the wrap and crawled over to his brother. Gene was nearly crushed into a hug from the side, but didn't mind. With everything that was going on in his life, it shocked him he didn't attempt to bring them away from the tyranny. It was his mother's fault for staying, so action would have to be taken by another. But what, was the big question. He noticed wide eyes were looking up at him, then, "Come on, it's not so bad. You can just tell the monsters to leave you alone."

"No, he won't," whispered the whining voice. That was singular, rather than what he expected. It was not what he was currently have rush through his panicking mind, no way! Trying to play it off, he slowly wrapped a calming arm around the tiny waist. A shriek and wriggling away was his answer. The child sniffled and Gene found the dark hid the tears glistening down the cheeks. "I-I'm sorry," he still looked uncomfortable from the outburst, but clearly didn't want to be.

"For what..." Then what- It then clicked and his childhood was suddenly crying out for justice. Looking with a very awake expression down into the eyes of his little brother, "Josh, tell me who the monster is." Not allowing the flowing tears to deter him, "Was it Dad?"

Josh slightly allowed a nod to happen, but then about let out another scream. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he then let it slide down his mouth a bit. In a quivering voice, "He says if I tell anyone what he does to me... That he'll start doing the same to you, too."

It was tempting to blurt out how that had already happened for most of the older boy's childhood, if not all, but he had to think of the other. It was odd how he really had a heart for select people, though it would make sense if anyone knew what his life had been like. Not like anyone cared enough to know.

Glancing at the clock, he noticed in a couple hours he would have gotten up anyways, so he scooted so they could do an awkward cuddle. He smoothed a hand through the silky locks, trying to keep one of the only people he cared about feel safe for now. No one deserved this burden, and he was a teenager that was finally left alone...

*I*I*I*I*

The sidewalk was never ending, but that was fine. Today he would ignored that morning and blow it off as a misunderstanding.

He could deal with such a thing, but found himself right in front of familiar-looking shoes. They were ratty and doodled on converses and so much different from his mud-colored slip-ons. The acid skinny jeans should have given him the hint to just turn around and walk. His eyes skimmed up the salmon polo, then at last to the tanned face he knew all-too-well.

"Gene? I've been looking for you!" Those slightly stuffy vocals... Dumbfounded, Gene allowed the sudden attack around his person. Bradley obviously never learned his own strength, because the nerd was nearly hugged into oblivion, or so it seemed.

He waited to be freed, finding the blush start to form like it has in Tudabone's presence ever since the teenage years began. Clearing his throat slightly, the older nodded, "It has been a while, hasn't it..."

Giving a laugh that deepened the blush, "Yeah, yeah..." The gardener punched his longtime friend's shoulder while grinned, "Oh, hey, I've got to tell you something."

After they graduated from Darkley's, it looked like they wouldn't ever see one another ever again. Nodding and finally allowing eye contact, "Tell me something? Like what?"

Even Brad started looking flustered suddenly, starting to slid his foot across the sidewalk. Gene was unamused, but watched this, so curious it started stinging in his chest for some reason. Was he really going to expect- "I think I love you, Gene!"

It took a moment to realize what all that meant. That finally the boy got his chance to be happier than he's ever been! Alongside Brad, they would be the perfect couple and nothing could ever get in their way. He wanted to say something smooth or smart, but couldn't think of something in particular. Great...

Taking too long, Gene found his crush began to back up and look worried, "I'm sorry, I didn't say anything..."

Was that taken for rejection? He then walked forward to get them to be in an embrace. Then with some sort of knowledge of how all those book and movies seemed to work with romance, he brought their lips together. Since he never was in a relationship, it was unknown what he was to expect...

xXxXxXx

_The ginger walked down the hallway, but froze once he heard a soft noise come from a dorm room. Unable to contain his curiosity, he peeked in. They were mostly all fifteen in this boarding school, so there were some relationships popping up, but most were kept private. Currently he was watching one of the few jocks that attended the school shove his tongue down some other boy's throat. Since all their uniforms matched, it was hard to tell._

_Shifting slightly on the bed, the shorter boy pushed the built teen away from him. He then proceeded, all this time facing away, to sit on the lap. They continued in their mostly private kissing session, but then the the strong hands starting running up the back of the overcoat and peeled it down the weak arms. Eagerly tossing it aside, he began to giggle as his head turned long enough for the mouth to attack at his neck. It was more gentle until it reached the collarbone, but since the skin was fairly tan, no one would truly notice if marks were placed unless they were really worked upon. _

_Gene's eyes widened as he recognised the boy on the lap as none other than Bradley. He wasn't sure why, but he grew incredibly jealous... of the athletic one, that is. The oldest was probably in the closet, while Brad was out and about without a care. Then he realized he must be into men, too. As much as his father would be angry at him if he came out, there was no way around it. It wasn't just his weird curious daydreams of doing this to Brad, they were borderline fantasies. Especially the more he read and watched the sort of thing only adults should, or so they claimed._

_He hated how much of a snoop he was, but as he turned tail to get away unspotted, he hit into the door. It smacked the wall and all three were now in knowledge of each other. Backing out of the doorway, he began to fast walk, but was met by a hand yanking his body back like a ragdoll. The gardener spun his friend around and looked between mad and somewhat amused, "So... you enjoy the show?"_

_Wincing, the geek began to pretend that he was able to just evaporate from the spot, "Yeah..." Catching himself, "Um, no, I mean, er, maybe?"_

_Bradley got close enough that if he were taller they would be nose-to-nose, "Don't tell anyone, because Finn is uncomfortable with himself, okay?" It wouldn't matter because later on, the relationship would end with Finn claiming Brad was just his curiosity. Then the bonehead would nonstop watch the younger during classes and eventually getting rejected after asking the boy back out a couple years later with newfound courage. The scars of how he had yelled controversial slurs and shunned the tan teen was too much._

_Their questions could go all night. They shouldn't have to fight about this, but it was becoming more and more awkward. Gene eventually allowed a nod, while inside he was ready to tell the younger how he wanted them to be an item. Then again, he would only be scared the same way as Finn, most likely. He was scared of getting judged by others, and that wasn't too healthy._

_He did make a secret vow as they split up different directions in the hallway; that he would try his best to make sure he was a good guy to Bradley. If they ever got the beautiful chance, however... Right now he should probably wonder how oblivious he was to not knowing. It was dangerous to remember how the somewhat dishevelled appearance of the half-Indian appealed to him. He was close to taking his nightly shower anyways, so maybe it wasn't too taboo to think of a taken friend with that mixed in._

xXxXxXx

The fact that his first relationship ended up like this was nearly laughable. His boyfriend watched him with big eyes, tears swimming and threatening to spill. Bradley had come up to him, freaking out over something. It was his mistake for being busy a lot, not his partner's for kissing another. He didn't have the guts to do the right thing and just give up and walk away.

He was too trusting, and he almost had a loving confession his way. Gene was so sure his love was just overwhelming the tanned. That perhaps deep inside the only thing Brad thought of was him. After that day they reunited, they were nearly inseparable. It was a tad awkward, though, and he usually had to think of what happened later that day and how the next morning fanned out.

xXxXxXx

_Groaning softly, the ginger began to flutter open his eyes. His sight was impaired due to his lack of glasses, but the soft pillows made up for that. Starting to sit up, he found something was off. This wasn't his room in any way, and he could tell right away by the fact the walls were a deep pink hue. He reached for his glasses and found that his body wasn't constricted in any way._

_He about questioned what had happened the night before, but he had it hit him like a ton of bricks. It was obvious he was no longer innocent, spotting his clothing laying it a heap on the floor near the bed. Holding the blankets to his body protectively, he then found problem... The boy who was responsible for this was not currently nearby or even in the room. _

_Finally up to quickly slip back on his lower clothing, he was walked in on while fumbling with the button-up shirt. Nimble fingers took over and connected them flawlessly. Why couldn't he stop being so red?_

_Giggling, Bradley watched the opposite slip over the sweater vest, "You're almost as red as your hair. It kind of reminds me of last-"_

_"So that really happened?" Interrupted Gene without thinking about it. Honestly, he wanted to know if that awkward but fantastic fantasy became reality. He bet he was really bad or something, since they only went once..._

_"Mhm," agreed the younger, moving to fix up the riled blankets. _

_He looked perfect contented though, so maybe only Gene thought on this too much, "I love you."_

_The shorter slowed his smoothing of the sheets. Gulping silently, he only flashed a weak and fake sort of smile that was confusing. Passing by his taller boyfriend, he got on his tiptoes and gave a kiss on the cheek. Stopping in the doorway, he made a few steps back, then flashed a grin, "I'm taking a shower..." He would expect he'd get a sweet invitation or- _  
_"Your bag's in the living room and some toaster strudels are on a plate, so take that stuff with you on the way out, okay?"_

_Wait, what? He wanted to protest, but Brad was then gone from the spot and the bathroom door slammed shut. Grumbling and tempted to follow his crush, but gave up and to the kitchen. He took the breakfast treats and put on a strap of his backpack. "So glad you love me, too..." Shaking his head, Gene strode across the area and opened the door. Taking a big and disappointed sigh, he left._

xXxXxXx

It crossed Gene's mind that he was being used, despite Brad giving excuses about why he could be mentally distant. They had exchanged loving terms to each other fully, once. The rest was all Gene! He's shouldn't mind this much, but it was eating at his mind and heart without fail.

So, he went over to his lover's house and got ready to demand some answers. Rapping his hand multiple times on the door, he thought why he this could be his fault. Probably because he was just some big loser. Brad didn't believe he even cared in the first place! He had to prove himself somehow.

Brad answered the door, but wasn't smiling, "Oh... Gene..." He allowed the other teenager to follow him inside, the slam seeming to echo in the mostly empty house. They went over to the couch, but neither was so certain who was to sit down. Both of their conversations were touchy. So the younger spoke first, "Look, we have to talk... I think I wasn't so sure about us, after all."

"Why?" Gene refused eye contact, feeling so selfish and childish for not allowing the other to really got into detail yet.

Giving a pained sigh, the other continued gently, "Well..."

Gene spaced out and didn't want to hear this. He watched those pouty lips move, but couldn't care less what was coming from them right now. All he was getting was nagged by everyone lately. He hated that feeling. Finally snapping as the sentences became neverending babbling, he grasped the other and practically forced him against the nearby wall. Closing a sudden hand around the throat, he somewhat snarled, "You don't know me, so don't act like you do. Even after all these years you only know and care about yourself, Bradley. I don't think you get it, though. We're over only if I say so." His rage wasn't done just yet. From shy guy to sadistic in moments, like usual. A lot like his father, which caused him to loosen the hold and eventually pull back the hand.

Bradley nearly began to say something, but placed hands softly around his throat. Never had Gene gotten physically abusive. The occasional fight? Oh yeah, that went from evil to a messy makeout session, but this was a whole new level. Becoming rather sorrowful himself, he was quivering slightly, "Go..."

He hated how they never got to talk anything out, so he began to reach out a hand, but aimed for the shoulder. The gardening maniac sobbed and shoved him aside, rushing to his room and silently wept not too long afterwards.

The monster that ripped through Gene wasn't done quite yet, making the evil genius chuckle and follow after his partner eagerly. Walking into the room, the nerd overlooked the progress and gave a clicking of the tongue, "You're not so tough when I actually fight back, huh Tudabone?"

"I said to go, Gene!" Bradley shoved his face into the pillow and refused to breath the same air said boy was.

"Suit yourself, but I'll be here later on, you know that," the rumbling in his heart both pleased and stung. What was wrong with him? He didn't have to act anything like his family could get, but he was. At least he wasn't totally like his father. Then he would need to worry. He would apologize over the phone later and Brad would fall right back in his clutches. Like a rabbit to a lion. Not like he minded, which in some way made him feel all powerful and like he actually ended up making something of himself...

xXxXxXx

_"Gene, I bet you'll be just like your old man when you're older," his father commented as they watched television. _

_The boy was so excited when he got accepted to Darkley's earlier over mail. It was cool that it was for "bad boys". Would they get those cheesy leather jackets like the stereotypes? Would they all get to do fun pranks? Would he get to be far away from his life here? He was snapped from his thoughts as he let the words sink into his head. He almost laughed or something, but was scared how the older would react. This was nothing to joke about, though._

_He man scooted closer to his child and adjusted his glasses, which were somewhat like the boy's, despite the more blocky shape. It caused Gene to start to move away, figuring what would happen soon because of the red lights going off in his mind. _

_The television was turned up because his mother was home. No need for her to hear anything suspicious upstairs as she looked for more places to stash her liquor. Taking a shaky breath, he began willing himself something better. Looking at the colorful screen, he began laughing at the comedy he didn't even pay half his mind to. He tried to get up, butlong fingers closed around his wrist, "Please... No..."_

_"Don't make this difficult, Gene, you know no one will even love you like this." It wasn't love, because nothing was radiating between them but shame and excitement of the wrong proportions. Ashamed, he became nearly inanimate as he felt the man drag him back to the couch. He would eventually learn to accept the twisted sort of caring soon... or just learn how not to complain. It ended the quicker it started anyways._

xXxXxXx

Gene was feeling way too guilty, so he used his most effective method to let out stress. He took a deep breath, and dipped himself back in the tub. Once submerged he thought of everything wrong in his life. Then he allowed himself to begin a screaming fest. It wa mostly quieted by the water, but soon it started filling his mouth and nose, so he came back up. Mostly blind, and now even more so behind his bangs, Gene sat up and back in the bath.

Actually beginning to wash himself now, he wasn't sure whether or not the water leaking off his face was from the bath or sour tears. Either way he felt so bad for himself, he forgot to call his last chance to a normal life that night.


End file.
